Angel With A Shotgun
by GypsumLilac
Summary: White room syndrome, Underfell AU, pre-canon. Papyrus and Sans are family, and that means they'll always be there for each other and protect one another.


_~Get out your guns, battle's begun.~_

"WINGDINGS, WINGDINGS!"

"yeah, bro?"

"I'VE BEEN PRACTICING WITH MOM! LOOK!"

"wow, that's real cool. you're the best, paps."

"I KNOW!"

_~Are you a saint or a sinner?~_

"B-BUT YOU SAID I COULD!"

"sorry, paps… this experiment's shaping up to be a _skele_ton of work. keep mom company for me, okay?"

"FINE. YOU GO DO YOUR COOL STUFF WITHOUT ME. YOU'LL MISS ME, YOU KNOW! YOU'LL BE SANS PAPYRUS! NYEH!"

_~If love's a fight then I shall die~_

"it's okay to cry, bro."

"NY-NO! ONLY WEAK DREEMURRS CRY!"

"who told you that?"

"I HEARD KING FUZZBALL SAY IT. AND IT'S TRUE. E-EVEN IF M-MOM… IS…"

"on vacation, bro. she's on vacation."

"Y-Y-YEAH."

_~With my heart on a trigger.~_

"hey, bro… wanna join me in the lab? you can bring your new friends."

"YES! FINALLY! COME ON, WYRD, IRA, LET'S GO VISIT SANS'S LAB!"

"just… don't touch anything."

_~They say before you start a war,~_

"Wowie, Papyrus, your brother is super cool!"

"You aren't supposed to touch that, W-Wyrd."

"Whatcha gonna do about it? Huh? Little tattletaler?"

"LISTEN TO IRA. D-DON'T TOUCH THAT."

_~You better know what you're fighting for.~_

"AAAAA-Hahahaha! Look at your faces!"

"Dubs! Turn it off!"

"WYRD, YOU LITTLE ASS, TURN THE MACHINE OFF!"

_~Well, baby, you are all that I adore.~_

"kids… what in the twirling stars!"

"WINGDINGS! WYRD TOUCHED THE THING!"

"N-no I didn't! P-Papyrus did!"

"okay. no more. let's get you two home."

"Sorry about my brother, Doctor."

_~If love is what you need, a soldier I will be.~_

"IT REALLY WAS WYRD'S FAULT."

"i know, bro. don't tell him this… but he's set me back a couple months. that machine wasn't supposed to be turned on till the… hey… papyrus? didn't i turn it off?"

"YEAH, WHY?"

"cause it's still glowing."

_~I'm an angel with a shotgun,~_

*CRACK*

"W-WINGDINGS!"

"Papyrus! Hold on, bro!"

_~Fighting 'til the war's won~_

*WHIRR*

"I-I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE! WINGDINGS!"

"s-Stay back!"

"NO!"

_~I don't care if heaven won't take me back.~_

"W-WINGDINGS? ARE YOU THERE?"

"y-yeah, bro…"

"A-ARE WE ON VACATION?"

"probably."

"WILL I GET TO SEE MOM?"

"yeah. real soon, bro. real soon."

_~I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe~_

*CRACK*

"…WINGDINGS… IF THIS IS VACATION… I DON'T THINK I LIKE IT VERY MUCH… IT'S TOO COLD."

"…that's cause we're in snowdin, bro."

"OH. SO WE'RE NOT DEAD."

"looks like."

"BUT WE'RE ABOUT TO BE."

_~Don't you know you're everything I have?~_

"WOWIE, SANS, THAT WAS AMAZING, YOU WERE ALL LIKE WHOOOOM AND HE WAS ALL LIKE GAAAARRRRHHHKKKK AND THEN HE JUST… SHATTERED… I… WONDER IF MOM SHATTERED…"

"nah, bro, she melted."

"WIINGDIIIINGS!"

_~And I-I-I-I-I wanna live, not just sur-vive tonight.~_

"heya, big guy. i don't know or care what happened to… this place. i'm not judging. but i have a favor to call in."

"Quickly, Wingdings. I haven't forgotten you abandoned us in our time of need."

"a job. and a house. and safety for my bro. that's all i need."

"There are plenty of empty sentry posts. Take one. Take them all. There's a recently abandoned house on the outskirts of Snowdin. As for safety… if your brother requires bodyguards to survive, then he is not worthy of our kingdom and should die now."

"wow. not the same fuzzball, are you.

"Go. You are wearing our patience thin."

"alright… have fun… uh… smoking. oh, and i'm sans now. not wingdings."

"Then we have no connection with you, therefore GET OUT!"

_~Sometimes to win, you've got to sin.~_

"WINGDINGS! ARE YOU OKAY? WHO DID THIS?"

"it's nothing, bro, i'm fine. don't crack up over it."

"TH-THAT WAS AWFUL! AND IT'S NOT FINE! I- I'LL DUST WHOEVER DID THIS TO YOU!"

"woah, bro, slow down. it's only a minor toothache."

"NYAAAAAAAAAHH!"

_~Don't mean I'm not a believer.~_

"H-HEY, SANS?"

"what, bro?"

"CAN I HAVE A JOB TOO? I WANT TO BE THE FIRST TO CAPTURE A HUMAN SOUL!"

"sure. why not."

_~And major Tom will sing along.~_

"HALT IN THE NAME OF THE LAW! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, TERRORIZING THIS POOR BUNNY?"

"Oo~ tough guy."

"He'd be too sharp going down."

"Get'm, boys."

"NYAH HAH HAH! NONE SHALL STAND BEFORE THE MIGHT OF MY PROWESS! BEHOLD!"

_~Yeah, they still say I'm a dreamer.~_

"O-OWIE! STOP, SANS, YOU'RE MAKING IT HURT WORSE!"

"it needs to be disinfected."

"I DEFEATED THEM FAIR AND SQUARE, SANS! WHY'D THAT BUNNY HIT ME?"

"it's… kill or be killed down here, bro."

"I DON'T BELIEVE THAT. THAT HUMAN YOU TOLD ME ABOUT DIDN'T KILL ANYONE. NEITHER WILL I. I'LL JUST DEFEAT THEM! AND MAKE THEM PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS!"

"you're the best, bro."

"I KNOW THAT!"

_~They say before you start a war,~_

"NYAH HAH HAH, I CHALLENGE YOU, UNDYNE, TO A DUEL!"

"Ngahhh… what twirling time is it… you're still… out here…"

"A TRUE WARRIOR NEVER QUITS!"

"A good one knows when to twirling give up. Go to bed."

"NEVER! NYAAAAAH! FIGHT ME!"

"NGAAAHHH! YOU BET I'LL FIGHT YOU! FIGHT YOUR ASS INTO THE GROUND! AND THEN SLEEP ON IT!"

_~You better know what you're fighting for.~_

"Hhh… hhh… You… you're pretty freaking tough."

"I… KNOW… SO… ARE YOU…"

"Hhh… Rivals?"

"YOU… BET YOUR… FISHY ASS."

_~Well, baby, you are all that I adore.~_

"SANS!"

"yeah, bro?"

"I HAVE A RIVAL! WE'RE GOING TO COMPETE FOR THE THRONE AND HAVE AN EPIC FINAL SHOWDOWN!"

"that's great, bro… pass me that thing…"

"THIS THING?"

"the other one. thanks."

_~If love is what you need, a soldier I will be.~_

"damn it."

"TWIRL IT."

"papyrus!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?"

"fix this stars-twirled machine. it's no use…"

"DID YOU TRY TURNING IT ON?"

"y-yea- oh. wow."

"NYAH HAH HAH, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS ALWAYS KNOWS HOW TO FIX YOUR PROBLEMS!"

"n-not that, bro… look… all the lines… all… looping back… to now."

_~I'm an angel with a shotgun,~_

"WHAT'S WRONG, SANS? YOU'VE BEEN BOONDOGGLING MORE THAN USUAL…"

"nothing, bro. it's fine. everything's… fine…"

"NO IT'S NOT. YOUR HP HAS BEEN DROPPING. THAT'S NOT FINE."

"y-you noticed?"

"OF COURSE I TWIRLING NOTICED, YOU'RE MY TWIRLING BROTHER FOR STARS' SAKE!"

_~Fighting 'til the war's won,~_

"heya, grillbz. looking hot tonight. how's the clan."

"…"

"GRILLBY SAYS IT'S TIME TO STOP STUFFING YOUR RIBS WITH HIS SRIRACHA AND GO HOME."

"o-oh, heya, bro."

"I'M DISAPPOINTED, SANS. DISAPPOINTED."

_~I don't care if heaven won't take me back.~_

"S-so…"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT, SCOUNDRELOUS CLAN OF BUNBUN?"

"I-I'm just the messenger! Th-they said… they may not be able to kill you… but your brother… step one foot out of line and he's d-dust."

"MY BROTHER? YOU ARE MISTAKEN. THAT NO-GOOD RASCAL IS MY WARD. YOU ARE NOT TO TOUCH HIM. I AM SAVING HIS EXP FOR MYSELF."

_~I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe.~_

"Hey!"

"There he is! Get'im!"

"heh. the good old flanking maneuver. works like a charm. so, fellows, what're you here for?"

"You killed Bundt!"

"You'll pay for that! First we'll capture you… and then we'll make you watch us kill your brother!"

"welp… bye bye, bunnies."

_~Don't you know you're everything I have?~_

"SANS! THERE YOU ARE… WOW, THAT'S A LOT OF DUST."

"a skeleton of dust."

"THAT… WAS HORRIBLE. BUT I NEED YOU TO DO SOMETHING."

"anything for you, bro."

"WEAR THIS. DON'T WORRY. I'LL WEAR ONE TOO."

_~And I-I-I-I-I wanna live, not just sur-vive tonight.~_

"Heheheh! Can't get away now, can ya! Your magic tricks are useless against us now that we know you only have one HP!"

"heh… what's one more death…"

"Prepare to di- OW!"

"NYAH HAH HAH! THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS WARNED YOU THERE WOULD BE DIRE CONSEQUENCES FOR ANY WHO DARE TOUCH HIS WARD!"

"b-br- ow! hey!"

"THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM IF YOU DO NOT RECALL WHAT THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS IS TO BE CALLED."

"b-boss… s-sorry, b- oh, where's our audience…"

"IT SEEMS THEY'VE FLED. GOOD JOB, SANS."

"same to you, br- boss."

* * *

This was an experiment with white room syndrome, seeing how much I could convey through just dialogue while avoiding being on-the-nose. Hopefully I succeeded in getting the general gist across, although a few things are left intentionally vague.


End file.
